Are you in love...

In less than a week celebrating my birthday. Yep, on 17 August I will be adding another year to my age... and the older I get; the conversation of the ideal birthday often come up...

Just this afternoon I had a chat with a buddy about the ideal birthday and how we based on cultural, racial and religious customs celebrate it. To me it more than just the number that increases but rather a day of reflection - reflecting on the year that was; the potholes travelled and off cause the lessons learned and bridges crossed.

But as older we get and no matter how often we count our blessings; we always want more. We seek more happiness and yes we continue to strive towards perfection, have the ideal job and off cause, if we single we dream of the ideal partner and on the contrary when in a relationship we pray that the flame of love will last forever.

No matter how you celebrate your birthday; to me it the start of something new, something exciting and miraculous knowing that through all the obstacles faced, the rain and storms, I made it through it all and now experience the brightness of the rainbow in sight...

But my first blog is not about celebrating birthdays it is about the smallest yet most powerful word. Do you know that feeling of when you start to fall in love and when your lover for the first time say "I love you..."; Lol thinking about it gives me butterflies in the stomach.
\
It is that first phase of falling in love that we start to hope and dream that it will last forever. That very first kiss that we wish never end and when your paths cross you don't sleep before saying good night and off cause if you run out of airtime it feels as if you experience a panic attack because you do not want any message to go unanswered nor do you want to fall asleep or wake up without hearing their voices.

Interesting enough love often take you to a place where you feel that everything is perfect; soon once you head over heels, one person matter most and you start to neglect the usual friends, chat less with your frequent buddies and one thing for sure you strive towards making someone happy and start to neglect yourself.

I travelled the love road many time... and experience taught me that once in love I tend to become someone I am not - someone who put his happiness aside for the sake of love.

But why do we do that; we take ourselves on a rollercoaster and go back in forth in life. We go through one hardship to another with one common phrase... "Next time I wont love like this again."

Yes love is deep and true love is deeper but when it is mutual it can go miles without water, without food and we both just find joy by sharing and experiencing love in the greatest way. But what happen when love dry up?

We start saying the things we never ought to say while in love. Yes while we in love with someone we in agreement of everything; we put our no's aside and obviously just focus on saying yes for the sake of keeping someone else happy.

So why reserve the no's for the day of break up. So why waiting on the day of break up to remind the next person of how much they hurt and betrayed you while still dating...

My buddy I heard many stories of failed relationships... and I came to the conclusion that many heartaches been caused due to a lack of assertiveness, a lack of trying to understand someone while you don't understand yourself. They say the first way point of loving someone is to start loving yourself and while I believe that love is a matter of expecting what you prepared to give I cant help to wonder how many of you often blame yourself when love dies...

So if you a victim of a broken heart here is a few tips...

• Never try to glue the pieces of the glass together... The beauty of the vase is lost its  value once it broken and even when you try your best to fix it, the glue line will still make it look ugly. \
• Don't underestimate your power. Never even tell the next person they the best thing that happened to you... once they know it, you will make them a priority while you remain an option.
• Never keep quiet about the wrongs of the next person only because you fear to loose them... never stay silent; speak out and protect your heart. It better to loose someone for being true to yourself than to deal each day with lies...
• Keep believing that each failed relationship got nothing to due with the next. Never compare but never allow the mistakes to repeat itself...

So lets talk about love; are you in love... do you love and do you even understand love. Love is not found in the job s/he hold, not in the car they drove nor in the bank balance; but it is found in the heart and sensed in the soul. Only you know when you truly loved...

Have a great evening and if you happily married or in a relationship, keep the fire burning but never let it cause burnout on you...