Are we safe...

On 19 November we will yet again celebrate International Men's Day... Yes not many is aware of these celebrations and unlike International (or South African) Women's Day, it does not get the neccessary media attention.

The 2013 is "Keeping our boys and men safe". And since the beginning of this year when writing concepts and proposals to business and government; I could not help to wonder are we equally in our power doing enough to keep our boys and men safe.

We were raised with the idea and mentality that men and boys don't cry; and while we believed in that, we neglected to understand that we too have feelings, emotions and often we too go through hardships and pain.

Yes generally and traditionally we regarded as the head of a house, the breadwinners and often the role model for the fatherless child in our community, but how can become that if we neglect and if we ignore our own self.

I was raised in a small town called Beaufort West in the Karoo (Western Cape) and through experience and observation, about 80% of households is often run by women... Single headed households if one may put it that way... What happened to the men, the fathers, the brothers and the uncles... And with no doubt many women did a good job.

But in essence getting back to the now... I am of the opinion that our men and boys are not well looked after nor cared for. This may be based on our perception that men need to be strong, but has it ever crossed your mind that it often our boys who fall victim of illegal activities?

Has it ever crossed your mind that drug lords often prey on your boys doing their business, that it often young boys who fill the juvenile centres and that it often our young men and boys who often in the lead and fell victim of criminal and illegal activities.

The question is still, what do we do to keep our men and boys safe. We have seen a tremendous increase in drug abuse amongst young boys... the increase in domestic voilence and unemployment and even lately the increase in suicide. So if we continue to believe that "big boys don't cry", are we not indirectly saying that men and boys don't have feelings and is it not maybe time to listen to their voice.

Madame, your 16 year old daughter was made pregnant by a boy who didn't understand what sex mean. That neighbour who lost her husband, committed suicide because he felt trapped in his own emotions and skin, that pastor's son who is in a juvenile centre committed that crime because he was judged for being out of line... and believe me Mr Police Officer, that boy selling drugs is doing it because he does not fit in at home.

With all the examples and experiences faced in communities, I suppose it is high time to focus on the wellbeing of not only our women but also our men in society. That men who ended in a hospital bed last night, was protecting your daughter from the evils of society and more so protected her from being a possible rape victim...

Truthfully speaking, we often warn our female counterparts about dark corners, about walking alone and to be careful of not attracting wrong peers; but when last have you ever told your son that...

The theme for 2013 surely is one of most importance in that it not only focussing on the men as partners in communities and business but it seek to:

• Keeping Men and Boys safe by tackling male suicide
• Keeping boys safe so they can become tomorrow's role models
• Tackling our tolerance of violence against men and boys
• Boosting men's life expectancy by keeping men and boys safe from avoidable illness and death
• Keeping men and boys safe by promoting fathers and male role models

South Africa, we in need of positive male role models not to only curb drug abuse and usage in our communities but also to fight crime and to ensure that one enjoy a safe environment. Let us help fight the evils and let us stand together in keeping each other safe.

Show your support on International Men's Day and let us strive towards UBUNTU!

http://www.mensday.ws/en/theme.php

Controversy or not...

South Africa in my opinion is probably the only country in which people can say what they want and the moment the message is interpreted, it follows with an apology that the message, or it's content was either taken out of context, misinterpreted or misunderstood.

How many times in the past 5 years has the President went public on his opinion about certain issues and the moment when the media and public challenge him on it, it turn into a media campaign from his spokesman to rectify the situation and to vocally become on the attack of many South Africans claiming that his statements was misunderstood.

Recently Pres Jacob Zuma made yet another boo... and what followed is Mac Maharaj's statement that the "president was misunderstood and that the message was taken out of context.." (http://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2013-10-23-africa-check-zumas-malawi-comments-what-the-south-african-president-really-said/#.Umftj1Nohko)

So what if the president was right or wrong...? Don't you agree that it is by time that our country deserve true and honest politicians and leaders who irrespective of what stand to their point. Yes! I have more faith in someone who admit openly that they wording or phrase used may have been politically incorrect and that they stand to what they say and believe.

I suppose politics reached its sell-by date with advisors and spokesmen who continuously rectify the mistakes of our leaders. More so it is about time that politicians speak about what they believe in and not allow advisors to write their speeches...

I am of the opinion that too many times has our president say the wrong thing and it was in many times interpreted the way it was meant to be. Yes we can all make a linguistic error but it is not the duty or responsibility of an advisor nor spokesman to rectify public statements.

Is this a matter of exercising the right of "freedom of speech" , and when you end in the dog box, you quick to apologies.

Mr President, let us be fair. Media reports, and tapes is witness enough on what been said... Let us be man enough to stand firmly and apologies publicly in person when we said something that was not meant for the general public!

And I quote the following article of the www.dailymaverick.co.za (23/10/2013):

Jacob Zuma's controversial remarks that South Africans shouldn't "think like Africans generally" and that highways in Gauteng province are "not some national road in Malawi" were "taken out of context and blown completely out of proportion", presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj has claimed.
But were they really?

The comments were made during an address to the Gauteng ANC Manifesto Forum at Wits University in Johannesburg on Monday night and ignited a storm of controversy. Zuma's utterances, which centred on plans to implement an electronic tolling system on roads across the Gauteng province, were quickly dubbed the "I am not an African" speech.

In a statement issued today to "correct distortions in the media", Maharaj said the remarks were made "in the broader context of South Africa achieving more in the past 19 years of freedom and democracy".
Is this what Zuma said?

Maharaj then claimed that this is what Zuma really said:
"With regards to road construction, Gauteng has built many kilometres of new 8-10 lane freeways built at a cost of about R20-billion. This is more than our national roads budget for one year. The roads are to be tolled to pay back the money we borrowed to build the freeways. Our policy is that users should pay for extra government expenses.

"It is not fair to make the whole of South Africa pay for Gauteng's road use by taxing everyone's petrol more. We thank all citizens who have registered for the e-tolls so that we can continue to improve roads and boost economic growth in Gauteng."

According to Maharaj's statement, "[t]he President then made the example that it was also not fair to expect Gauteng roads to be compared to roads in other towns such as "Pietermaritzburg, Rustenburg, Polokwane or any other town or national road in Malawi as this was Gauteng, the heartbeat of South Africa's economy and an international city of commerce and business".

Or is this what Zuma really said?
But a recording of the event, published by Eyewitness News, tells a very different story. We have transcribed key portions of that recording and this is what Zuma had to say:
"We thank all citizens who have registered for the e-tolls so that we can continue to improve roads and boost economic growth in Gauteng. Gauteng must develop. It can't stand in one place. It can't be. It can't be like Rustenburg [laughter]...

"The roads are to be tolled to pay back the money we borrowed to build the freeways, to make the economy flow in Johannesburg, not so? The principle of user pay has to apply to complement the costs incurred by government. This is what all the economies in the world do.
"We can't think like Africans in Africa generally. [Laughter] We are in Johannesburg. This is Johannesburg. It is not some national road in Malawi. [Laughter] No."

Conclusion – Maharaj's statement is dishonest
Maharaj's statement is a dishonest attempt to spin Zuma's gaffe. It is clear from the recording that Zuma's remarks were not "taken out of context" or distorted and that he did indeed make remarks about "Africans generally", and Malawi in particular, that came across as disparaging. DM

I am sure that with the above report and many others one can easily conclude who is at fault; but allow the public to be open minded and judge themselves. 

After all the lesson I take from this, is that if this blog is taken out of context and or misunderstood; I also can easily find a scape goat and let them apologies on my behalf!
 

What lies ahead in 2014...

It took me a while to start writing again. Work and some personal issues kept me away from writing the normal mind provoking stuff... and to add the cherry on top, I need to admit that the reviews of the previous blog was rather well perceived.

Agree or disagree; love, politics and the economy make heads turn. It is those topics that often make one wonder if you mature enough to challenge it.

So today, lol hate me for this... we not all politicians, but we politically minded; we not always right but we never wrong - all it matters is how your opinion is perceived.

I recently took a drive with a friend to Pretoria North, and as we drove along I am reminded that we face yet another democratic election in 2014. I was shocked to realise that during November many young South Africans will be registering for next years elections. Many of them don't understand politics, neither knowing what right or wrong and not even sure who they want to lead the country.

As crazy and scary as it may sound... I don't know who to vote for. Yes I have an idea of who deserve my vote but in this country I have never came across a politician nor a party who committed and faithful to his promise to its voters.

Believe it or not. I recently spend three weeks in Beaufort West for a family crisis. This is my hometown. A town which I value most and a town which I still dream of returning to and help grow. The saddest thing of returning after a year, was to realise that nothing has changed. Still the same guy standing on the street corner looking for a job, still the same nurse at a public clinic who does not abide to the patient confidentiality rule and yes still the same gogo struggling to make ends meet.

But I need to admit. The one thing that dramatically changed is politicians who drive bigger and fancier cars; extended houses and the increase of nepotism when filling government jobs.

Well another thing which could be deemed as positive is the fact that a certain HR manager at a government department was realised from his duties; this probably because he had to many people appointed in positions they never been qualified for...

Strange but true, nepotism, unfair policies and discrimination will remain the order of the day unless we as voters become clear and certain of what we expect from our political parties.

No, don't get me wrong. This is not about the Beaufort West situation but rather an example of the problems in the country. Do you even realise that majority (over 80%) of ministers hail from the Kwazulu Natal province - is this because our president is from there or is merely just by chance and suitability.

Come on guys I am against no politician... in fact I often consider joining politics but for that I am too honest. I can't get on a train without paying for the ride. I cant live a flashy life while others suffer and neither can I appoint a brother knowing he is not qualified enough.

The crime situation in this country has increased because we take no regard of the judical system. Social problems get worst because our dear ministers doesn't hear the cry for help and to top it up people get sicker because our health practitioners no longer understand the oath to safe a life.

To me my friends, any politician wishing to gain my vote should be able to deliver and not just promise; and above all I am shopping for a politician who can confidently:

• ensure that opportunities (employment, housing) is distributed evenly irrespective of race and class
• fight against poverty and social problems which damages the economy of the country 
• create employment opportunities for our youth no matter of race and to ensure that our health and criminal system is in tact
• vest time in developing rural areas and break away from the urban comfort zones
• put the people first...

Saddest part of it all, is that you currently see no politician in sight on farms fighting for workers rights... wait until there is mass action and media attention and witness how they flock to those areas. You don't see any politician visiting or addressing the needs of older people in the communities until election times. No politician even bother at this time to visit rural communities, until their votes are needed.

My dear political leader, I am not saying stop what you are doing; all I am asking is to prevent the bill to be at the expense of the voter... Do not make promises based on the mandate you received from the party you serve, but start to think of the needs of the people.

The only way we can protect this country, is not by making empty promises but by serving.

To my dear body out there, your vote is your choice and your secret. Use it to the best of your benefit and to ensure that together we fight for a better country where we equal and have access to the same resources be it in urban or rural areas.

Whatever lies ahead in 2014; our lives lies in our vote! Make sure you make the best decision!

Are you in love...

In less than a week celebrating my birthday. Yep, on 17 August I will be adding another year to my age... and the older I get; the conversation of the ideal birthday often come up...

Just this afternoon I had a chat with a buddy about the ideal birthday and how we based on cultural, racial and religious customs celebrate it. To me it more than just the number that increases but rather a day of reflection - reflecting on the year that was; the potholes travelled and off cause the lessons learned and bridges crossed.

But as older we get and no matter how often we count our blessings; we always want more. We seek more happiness and yes we continue to strive towards perfection, have the ideal job and off cause, if we single we dream of the ideal partner and on the contrary when in a relationship we pray that the flame of love will last forever.

No matter how you celebrate your birthday; to me it the start of something new, something exciting and miraculous knowing that through all the obstacles faced, the rain and storms, I made it through it all and now experience the brightness of the rainbow in sight...

But my first blog is not about celebrating birthdays it is about the smallest yet most powerful word. Do you know that feeling of when you start to fall in love and when your lover for the first time say "I love you..."; Lol thinking about it gives me butterflies in the stomach.
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It is that first phase of falling in love that we start to hope and dream that it will last forever. That very first kiss that we wish never end and when your paths cross you don't sleep before saying good night and off cause if you run out of airtime it feels as if you experience a panic attack because you do not want any message to go unanswered nor do you want to fall asleep or wake up without hearing their voices.

Interesting enough love often take you to a place where you feel that everything is perfect; soon once you head over heels, one person matter most and you start to neglect the usual friends, chat less with your frequent buddies and one thing for sure you strive towards making someone happy and start to neglect yourself.

I travelled the love road many time... and experience taught me that once in love I tend to become someone I am not - someone who put his happiness aside for the sake of love.

But why do we do that; we take ourselves on a rollercoaster and go back in forth in life. We go through one hardship to another with one common phrase... "Next time I wont love like this again."

Yes love is deep and true love is deeper but when it is mutual it can go miles without water, without food and we both just find joy by sharing and experiencing love in the greatest way. But what happen when love dry up?

We start saying the things we never ought to say while in love. Yes while we in love with someone we in agreement of everything; we put our no's aside and obviously just focus on saying yes for the sake of keeping someone else happy.

So why reserve the no's for the day of break up. So why waiting on the day of break up to remind the next person of how much they hurt and betrayed you while still dating...

My buddy I heard many stories of failed relationships... and I came to the conclusion that many heartaches been caused due to a lack of assertiveness, a lack of trying to understand someone while you don't understand yourself. They say the first way point of loving someone is to start loving yourself and while I believe that love is a matter of expecting what you prepared to give I cant help to wonder how many of you often blame yourself when love dies...

So if you a victim of a broken heart here is a few tips...

• Never try to glue the pieces of the glass together... The beauty of the vase is lost its  value once it broken and even when you try your best to fix it, the glue line will still make it look ugly. \
• Don't underestimate your power. Never even tell the next person they the best thing that happened to you... once they know it, you will make them a priority while you remain an option.
• Never keep quiet about the wrongs of the next person only because you fear to loose them... never stay silent; speak out and protect your heart. It better to loose someone for being true to yourself than to deal each day with lies...
• Keep believing that each failed relationship got nothing to due with the next. Never compare but never allow the mistakes to repeat itself...

So lets talk about love; are you in love... do you love and do you even understand love. Love is not found in the job s/he hold, not in the car they drove nor in the bank balance; but it is found in the heart and sensed in the soul. Only you know when you truly loved...

Have a great evening and if you happily married or in a relationship, keep the fire burning but never let it cause burnout on you...